Putting an End to Words That Hurt

RevJP

This is last Sunday's sermon by Pastor Craig Ferguson - Part 3 in the series "The Friendship Factor.

Ways we hurt people with words

1. Careless remarks

Saying 'just kidding' does not remove the hurt of a careless remark, or cutting joke.

Proverbs 26:18 Like a madman who casts firebrands, arrows, and death,
19 So is the man who deceives his neighbor and then says, Was I not joking?(8)

2. Sarcasm
Sarcasm comes from 'Sarcos' meaning 'to tear (the flesh)'

Proverbs 12:18 There are those who speak rashly, like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

3. Complaining

Philippians 2:14 Do all things without grumbling and faultfinding and complaining [[12] against God] and [13] questioning and doubting [among yourselves],

4. Gossip and Slander

Psalm 15:1 LORD, WHO shall dwell [temporarily] in Your tabernacle? Who shall dwell [permanently] on Your holy hill?
2 He who walks and lives uprightly and blamelessly, who works rightness and justice and speaks and thinks the truth in his heart,
3 He who does not slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his friend, nor takes up a reproach against his neighbor;

5. Lying

Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are extremely disgusting and hateful to the Lord, but they who deal faithfully are His delight.

6. Our tone of voice.

Proverbs 15:1 A SOFT answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.
The negative consequenses of words that hurt

1. It damages our relationships

Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.

2. It harms ourselves

Proverbs 13:3 He who guards his mouth keeps his life, but he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

3. It hurts God
Ephesians 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [do not offend or vex or sadden Him], by Whom you were sealed (marked, branded as God's own, secured) for the day of redemption (of final deliverance through Christ from evil and the consequences of sin).
31 Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).

How to overcome the tendancy to say words that hurt

1. Start with the heart

Proverbs 4:23 Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.

Luke 6:45 The upright (honorable, intrinsically good) man out of the good treasure [stored] in his heart produces what is upright (honorable and intrinsically good), and the evil man out of the evil storehouse brings forth that which is depraved (wicked and intrinsically evil); for out of the abundance (overflow) of the heart his mouth speaks.
Before you can control your tongue, God must control your heart.

2. Temper your reactions

Proverbs 15:28 The mind of the [uncompromisingly] righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

Consider what you would say before you say it, search your heart. Thoughtless reaction breeds discontent and hurt.

3. Filter your words through Jesus

John 13:15 For I have given you this as an example, so that you should do [in your turn] what I have done to you.

Phillipians 2:5 Let this same attitude and purpose and [humble] mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: [Let Him be your example in humility:]

While it may seem trite, the concept of WWJD surely applies. Ask yourself what would Jesus do? His example should always guide your words, and actions.

Da Blonde Bombshell · Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 11:29 pm Post subject:

Good post, Rev. Thanks.

Nobby · Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 4:59 pm Post subject: Putting an End to Words That Hurt

I agree JP, that was a very good post, with points to think about.
As christians we should always watch what we say to each other & in front of the non-believer. Believe me they don't miss a thing! Smile

The tounge is like a two edged sword, if we go to swinging it around, we're going to hit someone wrong, (maybe not even know it.) & do a permanent damage. that can never be fixed. Sad

It beats me how christian people on these boards can have discussions on a subject, then just because they don't agree on something, it ends up in a knock-down, drag-out arguement. #Mad

Why is that Question

Non-believers I would expect some of this. But not Christians! I guess I'm just being naive. But as JP's post states we need to put an end to words that hurt!
......LuvYa....all,

Fran · Not So Newbie Joined: 30 Jun 2004 Posts: 7 Location: USA

Nobby

Hi Annalise,
First off, I want to welcome you to our "Bible Discussion Board." We are very glad to have you. Smile

This board split from a larger one, you will see some old posts. But it is like a new board & it is growing.
I think you will like it.

Fran · Not So Newbie Joined: 30 Jun 2004 Posts: 7 Location: USA

Thank you very much, Nobby, for the warm welcome! It is a real pleasure to be here! Bless You! Very Happy

Nobby wrote:
I haven't reached that point yet. I'm a born-again Christian of about 20 yrs. I still have trouble controlling my tongue
Ah....20 years? Well, congratulations! Very Happy

Let me see, I've known about God since I was a child. My father made a point of dropping us off at Sunday School *I will always be grateful he took the initiative*, but it wasn't until later that I truly understood what it meant to be born-again.

I have tongue troubles too.....I think we all do. But, we do the best that we can, heh?

Nobby wrote:
"Good." Jesus ask "who do you say is good?" What was His answer?
Matthew 19:17: "Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments."

Nobby wrote:
Only God can make the changes. You know? We could be wrong!

Amen to that! You're absolutely right, only God can make changes.

While I think it is important to encourage *BIG difference as opposed to being pushy* one another in our walks, at the same time, we need to recognize that God made us all unique. Just as God allows us to choose, we ought to allow the same freedom of choice to our fellow travelers.

Nobby · Last edited by Nobby on Tue Jul 06, 2004 11:14 am; edited 1 time in total

Fran · Not So Newbie Joined: 30 Jun 2004 Posts: 7 Location: USA

Nobby

Hi Annalise,
I've enjoyed our little chat very much! We'll have to do it again. Very Happy

PS: Just as long as your not "confuzeled!" Laughing